![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I was angry with anyone who had passed a test ever in their lives. But I realized that I can’t keep my mouth shut about anything for longer than five seconds, so everyone who encountered me over the prior three months was anticipating my good news about passing. ![]() First, I was selfishly discouraged and wondered, “Why me?” Then I was embarrassed and wanted to save face, so I thought about not telling anyone that I had even taken the exam. On the day I failed the NCMHCE, I experienced a spectrum of emotions during a 24-hour period. I bet a lot of registered interns who have failed ask themselves the same thing. I panicked because any sensible counselor would have entertained the same question I did: If I’m not prepared to pass this exam, am I really the best person to be in a position of counseling clients who deserve the highest quality of care? Pondering this question caused me more emotional distress than failing the exam ever could. If I had been more prepared, I would have had a larger margin for errors. If I had been more prepared, I would have been able to recover from losing all of those points. This panic was more dynamic and was perpetuated by realizing the truth - I wasn’t ready. However, this panic wasn’t reduced to feeling like I was going to have a heart attack because of failing alone. Class, what do we know about self-fulfilling prophecies? If we tell ourselves we are going to fail, we likely will, and that’s exactly what I did. I saw that I was getting many answers wrong in a row, and I was certain it meant failure. In my defense, I did have a panic attack. It couldn’t possibly be that I was unprepared or didn’t possess the knowledge required to independently practice - no way, it was just panic, and it was totally out of my control. Sometimes I still like to tell myself that was it. Or so I thought until I had to cancel the celebratory dinner planned for after the exam because I obviously wasn’t going to celebrate being such a pathetic loser.įor a while, I thought I failed the exam because I had a panic attack. I was ready to experience this rite of passage. I was ready to reach more people in need. I was ready to finally see the letters LMHC (licensed mental health counselor) after my name. I was ready to pass something for which I had worked so hard. I worked really hard for that big “F.” I consulted with colleagues who had successfully passed their exams about the materials they had used to prepare, I studied every day for three months, my husband quizzed me in the mornings before work and I performed really well on the practice exams before I went into the real deal. How did I prepare to fail my test, you ask? Diligently. After years of being both a student and an educator, I know my learning style and how to target my weaknesses - or so I thought until I became a miserable failure, hyperventilating on the phone to my mother like a child as I broke the news that I hadn’t passed the NCMHCE. Having insight into your strengths and weaknesses as a learner is half the battle when it comes to preparing for examinations because once you have identified your shortcomings, you can target those areas and try to bridge the knowledge or study skill gaps and (hopefully) successfully conquer whatever test is in front of you. I’ve always done pretty well in school, but I’ve had to work really hard to earn high grades. You know those classmates or colleagues who seem to easily earn A’s on tests without having to put a whole lot of energy into studying? Yeah, me too, and I’m not one of those people. I didn’t know this on the day it happened, of course, because my judgment was clouded by lots of tears, snot and defeat. The day I failed the National Clinical Mental Health Counseling Examination ( NCMHCE) was the best day of my life. ![]()
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